Shattering

i m not gonna write anything about general perspective; today i m going to speak my heart out... few times u feel u have lost everything, every battle, race, hope.

i don't know the reason y does one feels like this... but starting each day wid no hope or plan of what should happen in a day really breaks u... n in a row when u c the best opportunity u had r no more available for u just tears u apart... long awaited strategy and chance when comes near u;  realize that it wasn't meant for u...

i feel bad today not bcoz of above all the reasons but bcoz i m unable to justify myself of y m i capable of this life... wat use m i making of this opportunity m assigned in the form of privileged life. whenever i think i should start doing something for good and betterment around... Some lacking inside me stops me from doing it. y do i get hesitant of taking steps... y do i need others to support me always... m i not bold, brave and independent enough to decide wat is rite for me...???

these questions r hard to answer... i guess nobody but me can answer them better but i still m unable to find the source of this let down in me...

is it my environment, my thinking or ppl arnd me...???